Description
We spent a summer pimpin’ once. It’s true. We had heard that “pimpin’ ain’t easy” from what we understood to be a highly reputable authority on the subject, but we begged to differ. We had spent the previous summer learning how to play accordion, and we could already play a passable Chicken Dance by August, so how hard could pimpin’ be for hot stuff like us? So we went all out. We got several pounds of gaudy and extremely expensive “bling” (aka jewelry), a gold cane and chalice, a coat made out of what had once been very cute and fuzzy animals, and then we had all we needed to live the pimp life. It went well at first, but pretty soon we noticed people were behaving very differently around us. Standoffish, if you will. We attributed this to intimidation, that they perceived how obviously at the top of the food chain we were, and kept their distance accordingly. The police were far from taken aback at our image, however, and often slowed down to admire us while they drove by. Then we got overheated thanks to the superior insulative value of our chinchilla coat and we passed out from heat stroke. We woke up at home in bed with a cool glass of freshly squeezed lemonade which mummy had prepared just for us. And so, we come before you to admit that yes, pimpin’ ain’t easy at all! (We never even figured out just how we were supposed to make money at it. Go Figure!) But for those few fine days, we looked amazing, and now so can you thanks to our Suitmeister Basic Pimp Tiger Suit. An accessible and handsome solution for those interested in the pimp life themselves, this comfortable jacket, pants, and tie ensemble will make you look positively splendid, just like a supposed pimp ought to! Word!
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